do you believe in love at first sight it's an illusion i don't care


	do you believe in love at first sight it's an illusion i don't care it's all an illusion there's too much confusion down down down with your heart find find find the secret turn turn turn your head around baby we can do it we can do it alright do you believe in love at first sight it's an illusion i don't care do you believe i can make you feel better too much confusion come on over here can we get together i really i really want to be with you come and check it out with me i hope you i hope you feel the same way too...

Monday, May 17, 2004 ::: What a long time since my last post so here it goes a week that's like a year it was exam. osce and MB. I decided I really shouldn't let my fear and anxiety show in my diary heck, I didn't even want to confront the fear and frustration that come from exams, so why bother mentioning it here all i know is MB gave me a chance to reflect on my ability and my strength and weakness. i'm weak. but i'm strong. it's contradictory, but it's not. because it's when you're weak you taste the glimpse of hope and you feel the genuine feeling of being strong. it was then after exam, i thought liberation would come through, but it didn't it wasn't liberation. it was liberation from revision, but that I don't really care and i feel so un-liberated. I never thought my first year would end like this - ending in insecurity, insanity, misery an ending that brought more questions than answers more fears than hopes and in some ways it's a beginning with more fears than hopes too. but i don't care, the end of the examination won't set me free, but I can decide to live, care-free, for another week. i call the shots. it was that stupid thing i did "how stupid could i be a simpleton could see that you're no good but you're the only one for me" these lines from the song 'stupid' shouldn't be truly stupid unless the last sentence doesn't hold true - when you're NOT the only one for me that's what you call stupidity all i need is the brave and courageous part of me to show sometimes I think the opposite of stupidity isn't wisdom but it should be courage instead sometimes when you have the courage to do something you're actually losing courage because that 'something' may be the stupidest thing on earth freaked out. freaked out freak. * the moment i fell for a second or two i thought of you * it was then my birthday thank you all my friends - my friends in CU, my old pals from LSC, my dearest friends from overseas for overloading me with bday messages and presents and joy and fun and company on this very special day for me - i can no longer claim to be 18 i know but it's another year filled with blessings. * maybe i was having false hopes that second or two became unecessary but that only made me feel even more stupid even helpless * the joy of having no exam movies books friends outdoors all the things i couldn't have are suddenly abundantly available an afternoon spent on puzzle was great and so does a day spent in the sea today at sea the most relaxing thing you can do on earth the sea breeze with a sweet scent then a drop of sea water get into your mouth and that's like tasting saline solution the silk-like sand rest under your feet then a 'water-cockroach' invaded the tranquil of the landscape you mistakenly thought was yours it's not always the perfect picture but that's why it's picture perfect. the power of sailing is you get to forget all of your worries you feel so small which is a good thing because troubles are no longer troubles when you know you're the smallest thing in this universe next to the 'water-cockroach' beside you Hunting for some good new music fresh from the oven, Alanis' album is good, if only it's not a 10 track rip off I would definitely buy it. try to be less stupid try to gain a lil bit of courage that's the 19 year old me. ::: posted by Wings at 5/17/2004 05:54:00 AM

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it's all an illusion there's too much confusion down down down with your heart find find find the secret turn turn turn your head around baby we can do it we can do it alright do you believe in love at first sight it's an illusion i don't care do you believe i can make you feel better too much confusion come on over here can we get together i really i really want to be with you come and check it out with me i hope you i hope you feel the same way too...

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